Near Post – Are you, or do you know, a Football Club mascot?

Are you, or do you know, a Football Club mascot? If so, I’m interested in why you/they donned the furry suit and what you/they get out of it, other than getting to watch each match for free of course! If you want to be a mascot, you might like to take on-board a few pointers…

With a passion for the game of football, a love for your team, an appetite for entertaining fans of all ages, and a license to a**e about, the life of a football mascot seems pretty idyllic for any fan. However, there are a few things you should know first if you want be able to do the job.

  1. A mascot needs to have plenty of stamina to mess around in a heavy suit all day and in all weather conditions. You’re going to sweat – a lot, especially at the start and end of the season. Remember to stay hydrated and wear a high-performance deodorant. You’ll need lots of cardiovascular training to build up the endurance necessary to keep moving on matchday. Strength training is also necessary, particularly in the upper body area, as most of the weight of your costume is on your top half, especially your oversized headgear.
  2. Your role as cheerleader and club jester calls for you to have over-the-top acting skills, as you can only convey your character’s personality via gestures and actions. Use your arms to be expressive, but don’t gesture at the referee or away hands with your hands or fingers.
  3. There’s a fine line between banter and aggressive behaviour. Don’t moon the away fans when they chant about you. Also, you don’t want to get banned from grounds or arrested for assault, so don’t rugby tackle the opposition mascot to the ground, wrestle with them and rip their head off then kick it into the crowd! Remember, you’re an ambassador and family figure of fun for the club so behave like one.
  4. Equally, don’t do anything controversial in your day-to-day life out of the suit if you want to keep your mascot gig. Football Clubs don’t like the negative publicity or anything that messes with their carefully-cultivated family-friendly image. Don’t take your clothes off for photos, even for charity, launch into a Twitter tirade or get yourself into any Friday night fights!
  5. Try and be sporting when running in the annual Mascot Derby. Tripping up the other runners is considered bad form. Be a magnanimous winner or loser.
  6. If you stand for Mayor, you might want to consider the career implications and demands it will place on your time and personal resources.
  7. Don’t gain, or lose, too much weight, as you could get sacked! The suit needs to fit, and some mascots are meant to be on the rotund side.
  8. Be comfortable around kids and be friendly, but not too friendly! Conversely, if you dislike kids then don’t be a mascot. They will probably throw in the old “thumbed nose” gesture when you go to shake hands with them, so resist the temptation to give little Johnny or Joanna a clout for showing you up – the young scamps!
  9. Also, it’s probably not the best job if you’re claustrophobic, have Hyperhidrosis or a fear of fake fur (Doraphobia)!
  10. Finally, don’t take yourself too seriously. You’re going to look like a k**b – sometimes literally!